(no subject)

[qzeebrella]

Grasp
A Boston Legal fic by Qzeebrella
For watergal
happy early Christmas
disclaimer: I do not own Denny and/or Alan, nor is any profit being made from the fic below. Thus they will likely disavow all knowledge of me or be disgusted by my non-avarisious ways. Or hit on me because I'm pretty. Either way all is good. Now onto the poem.
Um, actually, an author's note first: It goes Denny, Alan, Denny, etc.




I stand in my office
Bemused
Wearing only boxers
My shirt and my tie
Am I coming
Going
Or did I just come
And with whom
And an image almost flickers
A memory almost teases
My mind
And is almost within

I step into his office
And see
He is pantless again
There is a momentary flicker
Of vulnerability
For one second I see
How lost he is
And then...
He charges ahead
He goes full bore
Towards whatever objective
Has just popped up
In his mind
And the man he once was
Is almost within

I pass by Alan
My protege
My partner
My friend
The one who has stood by
As I descend
Into confusion and chaos
And it occurs to me
That he and I
Could be more
That if we were braver
Or more foolish
We could have more
That more
Is almost within

He passes by me
Still Denny Crane
Still emanating power
Still reeking of charisma
My friend
And yet
I know we could be more
That I could exploit his trust
And manipulate him
That the ability
And the power
To exploit him
Is within

I trust Alan
With everything in me
He is the keeper
Of my confidence
I am closer to him
Than I have ever been
To anyone else
I've told him things
No one else knows
Things I forgot I knew
And keep forgetting
Things that haunt me
And yet elude my
Are not quite within

I will never exploit
The power I have over him
For he is
The person most important
To me
The man I must protect
As best as I can
From himself
The man I feel safest with
As long as he's within

We have sleepovers occassionally
Alan and I
Where we talk
About women and cigars
Cauliflower and queens
And we sleep together
In the same bed
In the same room
Almost within

I quite enjoy our sleepovers
Having Denny in my bed
And sleeping in his
I quite enjoy our talks
They help me see
The man Denny was
The man he still is
Under the confusion
They help me to see
That he still has access
To all his memories
That his immense intellect
His supersized ego
Is still within

I am more me
When he is near
The memories are closer
The mad cow further away
He helps me hang on
He makes it possible
For me to continue
In the face of the chaos
My mind has become
And I can only hope
I can only wish
That he will always be
There
Close by
And within

He has helped me become
The man I am
Has helped me learn
More about myself
Than I ever wanted to know
And yet
I love him
As a friend
And possibly more
And I hope
To always have him within
To always be within
Grasp.

The end.

Author's note,you could add the word grasp to the end of each stanza, if you wanted to. I wrote it so that it would work with and without the word Grasp actually there.

Hope you enjoy Lyra.

Comments

)#(!!!!%*@!!!!!

[watergal.livejournal.com]

Holy cow! I've been trying all morning to come up with an adequate response to this, and I have utterly failed--aside from the obvious and heartfelt THANK YOU!

There is so much I love about it all captured in astonishingly few words. Alan still seeing the brilliance in Denny and craving it more--as much for himself as for Denny. Alan as not a nice guy--but somehow becoming one where Denny is concerned. The intimacy that is both goofy and yet so real as to be something we all crave for ourselves.

And this:

For one second I see
How lost he is
And then...
He charges ahead
He goes full bore
Towards whatever objective
Has just popped up

that perfectly captures the early cracks and deterioration of the great. Just GAH!!!

How they both need each other and know it and are okay with that.

I am equal parts stunned that you managed to make the complex melange of comedy, ego and pathos that is them work in lines of loving dramatic poetry, and ashamed that I ever doubted that you would...seeing that you are you.

I absolutely adore this, and it's getting printed to be saved on the hardcopy bedroom shelf.

{{{{{{{{qzee}}}}}}}}}}

P.S.

[watergal.livejournal.com]

Any chance of you putting this somewhere public so I can show it off?? If not, is there any chance you'd allow me to put a copy up on liquidfic?

No pressure or anything...

Re: P.S.

[qzee.livejournal.com]

there, I just made it public, but you may put a copy up in liquidfic too, if you want.

I'm glad you liked it.

[jrosemary.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

Quixotica,

This was wonderful! I loved the back and forth nature of this poem--and I especially loved this part:

I am more me
When he is near
The memories are closer
The mad cow further away
He helps me hang on
He makes it possible
For me to continue
In the face of the chaos
My mind has become...

What a beautiful summary of Denny's struggles and how Alan is there for him. Thank you for this excellent piece.

~Rose

[jrosemary.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

P.S. Lol--I meant to write Qzee, not the name of your journal. Sorry!

[qzee.livejournal.com]

that's okay. I'm glad you liked it. "in case you're interested" here's another Boston Legal themed fic.